The Barabas Aurelius Show
by Ivette Boveda
Summary: It's the transcript from a Nietzschean talk show, and the topic is "Nietzschean men who prefer human women". Part three, which has an audience Q&A period, is now up!
1. part one of transcript

Barabas: Good afternoon. Today we are going to talk about Nietzschean men who prefer human women. Our first guest is Bolivar out of Josephine by Napoleon.  
  
(Audience claps)  
  
Barabas: Hello Bolivar. So tell us, why do you prefer Human women?  
  
Bolivar: Well, first of all, Nietzschean women often don't view us Nietzschean men as people but as sperm banks. All they care about is having the right genes for their kids, not about love or having a true relationship.  
  
(Females in the audience boo loudly)  
  
Bolivar: Most Nietzschean women are that way! They will regard you as inferior if something happens to you that was out of your control and will reject your love for shallow reasons. Human females on the other hand, will love you as long as you are good to them.  
  
Barabas: Let's bring out Bolivar's human mate, Sandra  
  
(Sandra comes out, some clap others shout "Get out Kludge")  
  
Barabas: Hello Sandra. What made you fall for Bolivar?  
  
Sandra: Well, under his tough exterior, there is a kind, gentle, romantic man.  
  
Barabas: What do your parents think of your marriage to Bolivar?  
  
Sandra: At first they didn't like him, but then they realized that he was a good man.  
  
Barabas: Bolivar, what did your family have to say to this?  
  
Bolivar: I've been estranged from them for a while so I didn't tell them anything.  
  
Barabas: We will go on commercial break for now, and afterwards with a surprise guest.  
  
Commercials  
  
Announcer: This program was brought to you by Acme Bone Blade sharpener. For when you must be ready to fight!!  
  
More commercials......  
  
Show returns  
  
(Audience clapping)  
  
Barabas: Welcome back. Our next guest is Bolivar's sister, Isabel Elizabeth out of Cleopatra by Napoleon. Who wants to get him to break up with his mate? Why?  
  
Isabel: Kludge females are inferior! The only reason that Nietzschean men prefer kludge females is that they have lower expectations, and so it is easier to attract them. Kludge women are for Nietzschean men who are too inferior to get Nietzschean females!  
  
Barabas: Are you calling your brother inferior?  
  
Isabel: Yes I am. His fighting skills are terrible and he is mentally weak.  
  
Bolivar (now angry): I am NOT inferior! Nietzschean women are just too bitchy!  
  
*Females in audience boo*  
  
Sandra: Human females do not have lower expectations. We just know a good thing when we see it!  
  
Barabas: Our next guest is Caesar out of Alexandra by Nicolas.  
  
(Caesar comes out and sits down.)  
  
Barabas: Hello Caesar. It says here that you are from the Drago Katzov Pride , is that correct?  
  
Caesar: Yes. Drago Kato Pride in ad house?  
  
(Niets from Drago Katzov Pride clap and cheer.)  
  
Barabas: It says here that you were the son of an alpha, yet you ran away from home. Why?  
  
Caesar: Well, frankly I was just bored. I wanted adventure. So I ran away.  
  
Barabas: and that's how you met your human mate?  
  
Caesar: Yes. As the son of an alpha, I was used to having slaves do things for me and thus if it hadn't been for her, I would not be alive. I at first thought of her as a slave, but then I grew to respect her. She taught me how to cook, and to survive in a hostile universe. After three years of friendship we fell in love and got married. Now we have 2 children. Also, she helped me see the way.  
  
Barabas: She  
  
Caesar: Yes I did.  
  
(Some in the audience boo)  
  
Barabas: So, did your parents try bring you back?  
  
Caesar: Yes they did. And to that end, they almost killed my mate and children. Thank the divine my family was saved.  
  
(Some in the audience boo, some blow whistles of admiration)  
  
Barabas: We'll be right being back after this commercial break.  
  
Commercial Break  
  
Announcer: This show was also brought to you by...  
  
Pangalactic Fitness gym, with locations all over Nietzschean territory.  
  
(Shot of gym and people exercising in it shown with male singers singing voice over song that sounds like Macho man)  
  
Song sung by male singers:  
  
Every guy wants to be an uber uber man  
  
to have the kind of genes, always in demand  
  
Fighting in the mornings, go man go!  
  
Getting all the females, harems grow  
  
You can best believe that, he's an uber man  
  
ready mate with, the best chicks he can  
  
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!  
  
Uber, Uber man  
  
I've got to be, an Uber man (I've got to be an uber)  
  
More commercials...  
  
TBC................... 


	2. part two of transcript

(Commercials end camera pans on clapping audience)  
  
Barabas: Welcome back ladies and gentleman. Unfortunately,  
  
Caesar's mate could not make it because she went to a colony to help with relief efforts. However, our next guests are Caesar's parents, who want him back in the pride, as well as a Nietzschean woman who wants Caesar for a mate.  
  
  
  
(They all come onstage and those from the Drago-Katzov pride stand up and cheer for the alpha male and his mate)  
  
  
  
Barabas: Welcome Alexandra and Nicolas. It was generous of you to come.  
  
Alexandra: it was no bother, especially if I can get my beloved son back.  
  
Caesar (angry but trying to be a good Wayist): What a surprise to see you here mother and father. Why are you so intent on getting me back, even to the point of almost killing my family? It's not as if I'm your only son.  
  
Alexandra: Because you deserve better than to be with a Kludge mate who runs off to help strangers and your leaving makes our family genes suspect as people will now think that we have a genetic tendency to be irresponsible.  
  
Sandra (rolls eyes at whole genetics spiel): Oh brother  
  
Caesar: I'm not irresponsible. I just feel that there is a different way to live than to be obsessed with power, and genetics.  
  
Nicolas: What kind of Nietzschean are you?  
  
Caesar: A different kind of Nietzschean! For me, the key to self- improvement is the Way. Genetics is not the answer.  
  
Nicolas: You are an embarrassment to 15 generations of my family line!! I will make you a good Nietzschean if it's the last thing I do!  
  
Caesar: Not if the Divine has a say in it!  
  
Barabas: Now, according to this (looking at index card then young Nietzschean women): You are Diana out of Hera by Jove.  
  
Diana: Yes  
  
Barabas: And you want Caesar as a mate, yes?  
  
Diana: I do, and I have for a long time. He has good genes and his gentleness would make him an excellent father.  
  
  
  
Bolivar (Cutting in): See what I mean?? For Nietzschean women, it's all about the genes!  
  
Barabas: Please let her talk  
  
Diana: Anyway, I don't hold his impulsive act of becoming one of those Wayists and marrying a kluge against him. I just look at those as impulsive actions of youth. If he promises to leave his unworthy kludge family and never have contact with them again, I'll choose him to be a mate.  
  
Sandra (sarcastic): Oh what a generous offer!  
  
Caesar (trying to restrain annoyance): I am very much dedicated to my family, and am not interested in your offer. Besides, wouldn't the act of leaving my family make me suspect as a mate and father? If I were willing to do that, how would you know that I wouldn't do it to you?  
  
Diana: Because I and any children we have would be genetically worthy of your care. Unlike your Kludge family.  
  
Caesar (peeved and annoyed): You certainly try my Wayist patience.  
  
Nicolas: Think about her offer, son. She is the daughter of an alpha, and has proven herself genetically worthy of you. Even your choosy mother accepts her.  
  
Alexandra: She is descended from the great alpha Zeus, who was a great leader.  
  
Caesar: I've already told you. I love my mate, human or not. Why don't you go marry one of my brothers, Diana? They have good genes too.  
  
Diana: Your genetic rating is better.  
  
Sandra (cutting in): What part of the word of the word "NO" doesn't your genetically engineered hearing not understand?  
  
Diana (getting a bit mad at Sandra and Bolivar's interjections): This is not your concern, Kludge! Why don't you just shut up your uncompromisingly inferior self?  
  
Sandra (PO'ed): Bite my Kludge ass!! (Stands up but is made to sit down by guys in black shirts)  
  
  
  
TBC 


	3. part three of transcipt- audience Q&A

Barabas: We were going to have another guest at this time, but said person has been delayed. For now, we will allow questions from the audience members. Who would like to ask the first question?  
  
Various people raise their hands, and Barabas goes to a middle-aged niet female  
  
Barabas: Name and Pride?  
  
Isis: Isis out of Sati by Anubis from Lobo pride. I have a comment for Diana.  
  
(Niets from Lobo pride clap and cheer)  
  
Diana: yes?  
  
Isis: Obviously, Caesar does not realize how lucky he is to have such an offer by you. However, I am an alpha female and I have two sons, who are yet unmarried. I was wondering if you would be interested in one of them?  
  
Diana: Perhaps, I'd have to talk to you after the show is over. But I can't promise anything  
  
(Barabas goes to next questioner)  
  
1.1 Barabas: Here is our next questioner, Sekar out of Thoueris by Duamutef. From what pride?  
  
1.2  
  
1.3 Sekar: Mammoth Pride.  
  
1.4 (Niets from mammoth pride clap and cheer)  
  
1.5 Sekar: I would just like to make a comment. The fact that kludge females would prefer a Nietzschean male just goes to show how totally superior our kind is!  
  
1.6 (Audience cheers)  
  
1.7 Sandra (peeved): and the fact that Nietzschean men would prefer human women show that Nietzschean women are a bunch of frellin' smegpots!!!  
  
1.8 (Female Nietzscheans boo, hiss and give angry growls)  
  
1.9 Sandra: Don't you smegheads see? There's more to a person than their damn genes!  
  
1.10 Barabas: Back to the questions (goes to next person, a male niet). Name and Pride?  
  
1.11 Xbalanque: Xbalanque out of Yum Kaax by Balac. Cobra Pride. However, you can call me X-dog. Cobra pride in da hoooooouuuuuse?  
  
1.12  
  
1.13 (People from Cobra pride Clap and cheer)  
  
1.14 X-dog: My question is for Caesar. One of the main reasons that such couplings between ubers and kludges is a bad idea in my opinion is that the kids don't have a place in society and are often traumatized. How do your kids manage?  
  
1.15  
  
1.16 Caesar: Well, my kids are doing great. We live in the Wayist part of town, and so no one cares about such things are mixed heritage. My son wants to be a doctor and my daughter wants to be an engineer.  
  
1.17 (Barabas goes to the next questioner, who is female)  
  
1.18 Barabas: Our next questioner is Itzpapalotl out of Chalchiuhtlicue by Ehecatl from Pride Cossack.  
  
1.19  
  
1.20 Chicomecoatl: I'm directing my question at Bolivar. I can't help but wonder if you somehow because of a bad experience with a Nietzschean woman, you developed this prejudice against females of your own kind.  
  
1.21 Bolivar: Well, it was the whole general baggage of coming of age and then having women judge and examine me as if they were buying a horse instead of choosing a mate.  
  
1.22 Isabel: Actually, what really happened was that he was brain washed by this kludge household slave and we didn't realize it until it was too late.  
  
1.23 Bolivar: I was not brainwashed! He just helped me see to how things truly were.  
  
1.24 Isabel (sarcastic): Yeah, I'm sure…  
  
1.25 Alexandra: Actually, the same happened to our son.  
  
1.26 Caesar: That is sooo not true!  
  
1.27 Alexandra: When he left the pride home world for Zha'dum drift, he got in with the Wayist crowd who brainwashed him to convert to their foolish religion and that's how he met that damn kludge female.  
  
1.28 Caesar(trying to restrain anger): Please don't call my wife a kludge! I was not brainwashed, but enlightened!  
  
1.29 TBC  
  
1.30  
  
1.31  
  
1.32 


End file.
